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How to Let Go of Guilt in the New Year


photo - a woman learning how to let go if guilt

As the new year approaches, many of us feel a natural urge to wipe the slate clean, to create space for fresh beginnings and new opportunities. This is the time of year my life coaching practice will see a flood of prospective clients, ready to set new intentions, and work toward their personal growth. If you’ve ever felt trapped by regret or shame, you are in good company, so take a deep breath and let me help you consider how to let go of guilt in the new year.


What Is Guilt, and How Does It Affect Us?


Do you ever catch yourself replaying moments where you wish you’d acted differently? That uneasy feeling your body is messaging to you is guilt— an intrinsic moral emotion that arises when we believe we’ve failed to meet ourselves or others’ perceived wrongs.


On one hand, guilt can inspire positive change, serving as a signal to amend our behaviors. But when it turns into a chronic burden, it morphs into regret and shame, leading to emotional turmoil that can weigh us down like an anchor.


People frequently confuse the terms “guilt” and “shame,” using them interchangeably despite their distinct emotional meanings.


While guilt lets us know we did something we aren’t proud of—stemming from actions or behaviors that conflict with our values and often accompanied by feelings of unease or self-reflection—shame, on the other hand, goes deeper. It makes us feel there’s something inherently wrong with who we are, impacting our self-worth and identity


The Psychological Impact of Guilt


Unresolved guilt can manifest as anxiety, depression, and even PTSD symptoms. For those of you with ADHD and anxiety, or trauma related guilt, it may create a sense of unworthiness, making self-care and success feel out of reach.


For example, ADHD can lead to difficulties with organization, while anxiety may cause constant worry about failure. Guilt is more than just an emotional nuisance; it forms an internal narrative that can fester and grow, leading us down a path of deeper psychological distress.


Question: Has guilt ever kept you awake at night, churning over past decisions?


The Physical Impact of Guilt


We all make mistakes. It’s natural to reflect on past mistakes, but constantly dwelling on them or ruminating can be detrimental to your overall health and wellness. The repercussions of guilt are not solely psychological—our bodies react, too. Tension builds in our muscles, fatigue sets in, and our overall health can suffer.


Studies have shown that emotional turmoil can lead to physical changes, like heightened heart rates and increased stress responses. Imagine your body carrying the weight of that guilt—every muscle tightened, every breath a struggle.


photo - a woman in a yellow sweater with a hand on her face contemplating how to let go of guilt and shame

Why Learning How to Let Go of Guilt Matters for Personal Growth


Understanding how to let go of guilt is necessary for our personal growth. Guilt is often short lived. It gives us the ability to cultivate self-compassion and to create space for reflection, coming in handy as the new year comes around. Releasing guilt empowers us to become our best selves, unburdened by the chains of past mistakes.  Embracing self-compassion and forgiveness can help you regulate your emotions, allowing you to step into the new year with a lighter heart and an open mind.


photo - a woman struggling with heavy feelings on a couch while her children run around

Common Causes of Guilt and How to Let Go of Shame and Regret


So, how do we begin this journey toward letting go of guilt and shame?


Common sources of guilt include past mistakes, unmet expectations, and the regret and that clings to our minds like cobwebs. Consider how to let go of guilt by taking the first step in the healing process by identifying these sources. What specific incidents haunt you? What expectations have you placed on yourself, and which of them are unreasonable?


7 Steps on How to Let Go of Guilt


If something is weighing you down that you desire to release to start the new year fresh, here are seven that will guide you on how to let go of guilt and embrace self-forgiveness in the new year.


Step 1: Acknowledge and Accept Your Mistakes


The first step in learning how to let go of guilt is to acknowledge your mistakes without judgment, accepting that we are human, that we will stumble and falter. By doing so, we free ourselves from the burden of perfection and make space for growth and healing.


Step 2: Challenge the Spiral of Shame


Guilt often triggers a spiral of shame—a relentless cycle where one negative thought leads to another, dragging us deeper into despair. To break free from this cycle, challenge those thoughts. When those whispers of shame creep in, ask yourself: Is this thought true? What evidence do I have? Disproving something is often a way out.


Step 3: Take Responsibility and Make Amends


Assuming personal accountability for your actions allows to learn from your mistakes, as well as for making reparations. Recognize the impact of your decisions on others, and when possible, take steps to make things right. It’s not always necessary to resolve everything; sometimes, simply expressing remorse can ease the guilt imposed by others.


Question: What is one simple action you could undertake this week to making amends?


Step 4: Set Realistic Expectations for Self-Forgiveness


With a little more self-empathy and acceptance for yourself, forgiveness will follow. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this journey. Accept that you are not perfect, and instead of focusing on the burden of guilt, consider how to release it and shift your mindset toward letting go of guilt and shame.


photo - a woman in headphones practicing deep breaths to get out of spiral of shame

Step 5: Focus on Personal Growth and Learn from Regret


Regret can be a powerful teacher if approached with a growth mindset. Instead of seeing mistakes as failures, view them as opportunities for learning. Reflect on how you can avoid similar situations in the future. By focusing on future growth, you can learn how to get rid of a guilty conscience, transforming regret and shame into fuel for personal development.


Step 6: Practice Mindfulness to Release Heavy Feelings


Mindfulness can be a transformative tool in releasing the heavy feelings associated with guilt. Engaging in breathing exercises, meditation, or even yoga can help you stay present and lessen anxiety. Create a mindful moment of reflection.


Question: What thoughts do you notice, and do they affect your emotional state?


Step 7: Seek Support from a Life Coach or Therapist


Finding ways to move forward begins with understanding how to let go of guilt, as well as addressing the deeper feelings of guilt and shame that can hold us back in other areas of life. Seeking support from a life coach or therapist can provide those valuable insights and tools needed. At Vanessa Marie Life Coach, clients learn how to hold themselves accountable with guided support while working through hard emotions.


photo - a life coach for women comforting her client who is learning how to let go of guilt and shame

FAQs About How to Let Go of Guilt


Is Guilt the Same as Despair?


Is guilt the same as despair? Not quite. Guilt focuses on our actions—what we’ve done or failed to do—and can drive us to change. Despair, however, is more all-encompassing, darkening our outlook.


In moments of deep guilt, I found it crucial to separate these feelings. Acknowledging guilt without letting it consume me helped me remember that “this too shall pass.”


Question: What emotions are you feeling right now? Can you identify the difference?


How Can I Get Over Feelings of Guilt and Regret?


Here’s how to let go of guilt and start moving forward with a lighter heart. Letting go of guilt and regret begins with radically accepting our past. It’s not easy—I’ve been there. The key is focusing on the lessons learned, not getting stuck in self-blame. While we can’t undo the past, we can release that heavy feeling and move forward.


One exercise that helped me immensely was working through my thoughts with a life coach. The structured, action-oriented approach of coaching sparked a sense of purpose in me instead of being paralyzed by regret and shame.


Question: What past mistakes do you think you can use as stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks?


infographic - a poster on letting go of guilt and shame


How Long Does Guilt Last?


You might wonder how long guilt lasts and how to get rid of it for good. That’s a personal journey, varying for each individual. I remember spiraling in shame over a past decision. Over time, while the guilt passes and the memory fades, enough residue remains to remind you of the lesson learned.


Countless strategies, from mindfulness to seeking support from friends or professionals, have helped many, including myself. Guilt can lessen in intensity as we learn to process it healthily.


Questions: Have you taken any steps lately to confront your relationship with guilt?


What Is Self-Forgiveness and Why Is It So Hard?


Self-forgiveness is one of the hardest parts of healing. It’s often tied to how we view our worth based on our actions. For me, forgiving myself wasn’t about ignoring my mistakes but accepting my humanity. Each flaw is part of who I am—an imperfect, evolving person. Breaking the cycle of guilt and shame can be incredibly liberating.


Questions: What would it feel like to let yourself off the hook by the new year?


photo - a woman sittingat her desk looking at a new year resolution notebook hoping to let go of regret and shame

FAQs About Vanessa Marie Life Coach


What Services Does Vanessa Marie Life Coach Offer?


Vanessa Marie Life Coach provides personal coaching to explore your thoughts and feelings and provide you with tools to deal with your guilt. Group coaching sessions, and confidence-building courses are also available for extra support.


How Can I Book a Free Discovery Call with Vanessa Marie?


If you are ready to jump right on a call to meet and make your success a reality, apply-here to book a free 15 minute discovery call with Vanessa.


You Have the Power to Learn How to Let Go of Guilt in the New Year!


As we step into a new year, remember that you have the power to let go of guilt. It starts with a conscious mindset shift, embracing self-compassion, and actively working through guilt and shame.


Figuring out how to get rid of guilt isn’t an instant fix, but with the support of a life coach, like me, we can explore how to let go of guilt, helping you step into a vibrant new year filled with hope. Are you ready for this transformative journey? Let’s take the first step together.


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Vanessa Marie

Vanessa Marie North 

Transformational Life Coach

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