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How to Be Authentic and Live Fully as Yourself
- Vanessa Marie
- Nov 25, 2025
- 9 min read
There was a time I didn’t even realize I was hiding. Not in an obvious way, but in the small ways that quietly chipped away at my sense of self. I said yes when I meant no. I agreed to things that didn’t sit right. I shaped myself into who I thought others needed me to be. It was exhausting. And somewhere in the middle of all that, I started listening to my inner voice so I could learn how to be authentic in the way I live, speak, and show up fully as myself.
This newfound personal growth strategy began the process of believing in my dreams, having acceptance for myself–all parts, and trusting my intuition to guide every choice in alignment with my true self.
What Does Being Authentic Mean?
So, what does being authentic mean? For many of us, being “authentic” feels like both a calling and a challenge. It’s about showing up as who we truly are, including all the messy parts, and living in full embodiment of ourselves.
Living authentically means pausing long enough to check in with your gut before you check your calendar. It means making choices that feel aligned and support a holistic lifestyle, even when they aren’t the easiest ones.
The definition of the authentic self is embracing who you truly are without masks or pretences, aligning your actions with your core values and inner truth. According to Dictionary.com, "authentic" (when applied to the self) is defined as "represents one's true nature or beliefs: true to oneself or to the person identified."
How to be Authentic
Learning how to be authentic isn’t something we suddenly discover. It’s something we return to again and again, especially when the world rewards blending in over standing out.
Being authentic means giving yourself permission to be who you are. You honour your needs. You respect your pace. You say no without guilt. It looks like accepting your quirks, your flaws, and your strengths without feeling the need to explain them. Practicing how to be authentic is about consistently choosing actions that reflect who you are, even when it feels challenging.
When you're living authentically, you begin to trust yourself more. You build relationships that feel real. You show up to life with less fear and more clarity. You stop apologizing for your presence and live with integrity.
Authenticity can also be described with words like genuine, real, trustworthy, credible, sincere, or original. These words all point to the same core quality: being true to yourself.
Why We Struggle to be Authentic
We’re wired for connection, but sometimes that makes us hide parts of our feminine energy and who we really are just to fit in. We people-please and shape ourselves to what we think others want, often ignoring our own needs and values. It’s a survival tactic rooted in the fear of rejection, convincing us that being agreeable will earn us love and acceptance.
Along the way, we silence our authentic self and lose touch with who we really are. We trade authenticity for approval without even realizing it. In those small moments, when we go along just to get along, we shrink a little. When being accepted feels safer than being authentic, we sacrifice truth for comfort and connection for approval.
Being inauthentic feels like a performance, drifting into roles and expectations that aren’t really yours. It happens when your words, actions, and choices are influenced by limiting beliefs instead of reflecting your true self.
Deepening into how to be authentic is a struggle for most of us because we’ve spent years filtering who we are through what’s expected by family, culture, work, or society.
Over time, it can become hard to tell the difference between who we truly are and who we’ve learned to be. Authenticity asks us to peel back those layers, and that can feel unfamiliar or even risky, especially if we’ve never felt safe being fully seen.
Being an authentic person doesn’t mean you always get it right, but it does mean you are not faking it. You'll know you are living authentically when you are honest with yourself and others.
The Difference Between Authenticity and Genuineness
It is helpful to clarify a related concept that often gets confused with authenticity: genuineness. People often use “authentic” and “genuine” as if they’re the same. But they’re not.
You can be genuine, kind, honest, and open, and still not be fully authentic. Genuineness is about how you show up in the moment. Authenticity goes further. It means your choices reflect who you truly are at your core and is central to understanding how to be authentic.
Authentic people have connected with their core values by spending quality time alone, free from social media and the influence of others. This connection to your inner self helps guide you toward being the authentic person you want to be.
Being genuine and being authentic may seem similar, but there is a difference. Authenticity is about staying true to your core values, while genuineness shows up in sincerity in your actions and interactions.
I’ve had moments where I was sincere with others but betraying myself. Smiling at a joke that didn’t land, agreeing to plans that drained me. I was being genuine, but I wasn’t being authentic. Trying to people-please in this way often makes us lose sight of our own needs and boundaries, leaving us feeling drained and disconnected from ourselves.
Have you ever felt that disconnect from your true self?
Learning how to find yourself again requires self-awareness. The more you know yourself, the easier it becomes to spot the difference.
How Can You Be Your Authentic Self?
Start by noticing when you’re performing. Notice the moments when you feel out of sync, off, or resentful. Those are clues.
Ask yourself what it means to be authentic in those small, daily moments. Try pausing before reacting. Checking if your “yes” is really a “yes.” Try journaling, asking questions, and sitting quietly long enough to hear the answers.
Mindfulness helps too. So does speaking your truth, even when your voice shakes. So does forgiving yourself when you forget, and most of all, loving yourself first.
Sure conformity isn't all that bad. We all want to belong. But the more self-aware you are, the harder it becomes to ignore when you’re betraying yourself to fit in.
Authenticity isn’t something you arrive at. It’s something you return to.
Why Authenticity Matters in Personal Growth
I know we’re not using buzzwords here, I'm not a fan, but I’ll say this—being authentic changed my life.
Once I stopped pretending, and trying too hard to be the person I thought people wanted me to be, I stopped feeling stuck. I began making choices that reflected my values, not my fears. I became a better life coach, a better mother, a better friend, a better woman. I was growing.
What does it mean to be an authentic person when you're growing? To be your authentic self means not skipping the hard parts. Being authentic means setting goals that are yours—not borrowed from Instagram or family expectations. It means grounding into who you are, especially when things feel like they are falling apart.
How to Be Authentic in Different Aspects of Life
We’re not just one person in one role. We wear many hats. But here’s the thing: you don’t have to lose yourself in them.
You can be authentic in all parts of your life. It just takes attention.
How to be Your Authentic Self in Your Career
Work can be one of the hardest places to be real. There’s pressure to perform, to fit in, to climb.
Embracing your authentic self within your career is something so many clients come to me to navigate with confidence and support.
Being your authentic self means not compromising your values for a paycheck. It means choosing work that reflects your strengths and interests. It means showing up with honesty, even in high-stakes spaces.
I once left a secure job because it didn’t align with who I was becoming. Scary? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely.
How to be Your Authentic Self in Relationships: Be Genuine and True to Yourself
Understanding how to be your authentic self in relationships isn’t about oversharing or always being “on.” It’s about being genuine and present.
How to be your authentic self with someone you love means making space for your needs, not just someone else’s. It means admitting when you’re tired. It means letting go of the performance and choosing presence.
I've learned that being authentic in relationships means being honest, even when it's hard. It means keeping your boundaries and allowing theirs. It means not shrinking to be loved. If it doesn't feel right to you, it probably isn't.
Some of my deepest relationships formed when I stopped trying to impress and started telling the my truth.
When I stopped over-thinking my relationships, I allowed myself to be more human than perfect, and I attracted the same.
The Benefits of Living Authentically
When you start living in alignment with who you are, things shift. You sleep better. You breathe easier. You don’t carry as much mental clutter.
What does it mean to be authentic when no one’s watching? It means being consistent. It means not selling yourself out. It means trusting your path even when it’s quiet.
To me, living authentically means not comparing myself to others.
How Authenticity Leads to Better Mental Health and Well-being
Anxiety often comes from the gap between who we are and who we pretend to be.
Living authentically reduces that gap. To be your authentic self allows you to be more grounded. When you spend less time and energy managing personas, you bounce back quicker when life gets hard. You feel more connected to yourself, healthier and clear-minded.
This sense of inner congruence reduces stress, builds self-trust, and makes space for more meaningful relationships, ultimately leading to greater emotional resilience and well-being.
What does it mean to be authentic for your own peace of mind? Everything.
FAQs About How to be Your Authentic Self
Here’s what my clients ask me most about how to be a more authentic person:
What Does It Mean to Be an Authentic Person?
It means that your life matches your truth. It means you know who you are and you live like it matters. Being an authentic person means you aren’t performing, you’re participating.
How Do I Know if I'm Being Authentic?
Ask yourself:
Are my choices coming from fear or from truth?
Do I feel proud of how I show up, even when no one sees it?
Check for alignment. That’s a sign you’re on the right path.
How Can I Improve My Authenticity?
Practice self-awareness and mindfulness.
Take time to reflect.
Set intentions each day.
Say no when needed.
Choose things that feel like a “yes” in your body.
Let go of roles that don’t fit.
Forgive the parts of you that tried to please.
When we align with our true selves, we free ourselves from the constant stress of pretending. We can find our purpose and embrace greater self-esteem that will transform the way we behave and relate to others.
Be Your Authentic Self Quotes to Inspire Your Journey
Be your authentic self quotes to inspire and remind you to show up fully as yourself. Keep these close for whenever you need a boost.
“The authentic self is the soul made visible.” — Sarah Ban Breathnach
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” — Brené Brown
“Don’t compromise yourself. You’re all you’ve got.” — Janis Joplin
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” — Oscar Wilde
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” — Carl Jung
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” — E.E. Cummings
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.” — Coco Chanel
“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” — Dolly Parton
“If you’re your authentic self, you have no competition.” — Unknown
I invite you to examine the unfamiliar, have the courage to love yourself deeply, and set aside judgment. Show yourself compassion, self-empathy and know that all change takes time. So be patient.
My 1:1 personal life coaching and group coaching programs for high-achieving women teach transformative principles for becoming a more authentic person.
Don’t wait for the ‘right time’. Start today by embracing who you truly are. Don’t let self-doubt hold you back. Authenticity should feel liberating!
You don’t need to do anything big today. Take small, consistent baby steps toward your personal growth. It's a lifelong process.
Maybe you pause before answering a text.
Maybe you try and stay positive more often.
Maybe you admit what you need more of, or less of.
Maybe you speak your truth, even when your are scared.
Maybe you take five minutes to ask yourself, how can I be my authentic self right now?
Not someday. Today.
