What Does It Mean to Be Authentic?

There was a time I didn’t even realize I was hiding. Not in an obvious way, but in the small ways that quietly chipped away at my sense of self. I said yes when I meant no. I agreed to things that didn’t sit right. I shaped myself into who I thought others needed me to be. It was exhausting. And somewhere in the middle of all that, I started listening to my inner voice and asked myself: what does it mean to be authentic—really? Not just in theory, but in the way I live, speak, and show up in my life.

This newfound personal growth strategy began the process of believing in my dreams, having acceptance for myself–all parts, and trusting my intuition to guide every choice in alignment with my true self.

What Does Being Authentic Mean?

So, what does being authentic mean? For many of us, being “authentic” feels like both a calling and a challenge. It’s that quiet nudge to stop performing and start showing up as who we truly are—messy parts and all.

The definition of the authentic self is embracing who you truly are without masks or pretences, aligning your actions with your core values and inner truth. According to Dictionary.com, "authentic" (when applied to the self) is defined as "represents one's true nature or beliefs: true to oneself or to the person identified."

Authenticity isn’t something we suddenly unlock—it’s something we keep returning to, especially in a world that rewards fitting in. It means telling the truth—not just to others, but to yourself. It means checking in with your gut before your calendar. It means making decisions that align with your inner compass, even when they’re inconvenient.

And above all, being authentic means giving yourself permission to be you, honoring your needs, respecting your pace, and saying no without guilt. It looks like accepting your quirks, flaws, and gifts—without needing to explain them.

When you live authentically, you begin to trust yourself more. You build relationships that feel real. You show up to life with less fear and more clarity. You stop apologizing for your presence and live with integrity.

What does being authentic mean to you? And do you consider yourself to be an authentic person?

Perhaps you’ve used or consider yourself any of these: genuine, real, bona fide, legitimate, veritable, trustworthy, credible, sincere, unfeigned, original; which are other words for authentic.

Why We Struggle to be Authentic

We’re wired for connection, but that instinct can sometimes lead us to hide parts of our feminine energy and ourselves just to fit in—to people-please, molding ourselves to fit what we think others want at the expense of our own needs and values. It’s a survival tactic rooted in the fear of rejection, convincing us that being agreeable and accommodating will earn us love and acceptance. But in the process, we end up silencing our authentic selves, disconnecting from who we truly are. We trade authenticity for approval without even realizing it. It’s in those small moments—when we go along to get along—that we quietly lose touch with ourselves. When being accepted feels safer than being authentic, we start to shrink, quietly trading truth for comfort and connection for approval.

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Being inauthentic is much like a performance, drifting into roles or expectations that don’t belong to you. It's when your words, actions, and choices don't mirror your beliefs.

Many of us struggle to find our truth, our authentic self because we’ve spent years filtering ourselves through what’s expected—by family, culture, work, or society. Over time, it gets hard to tell the difference between who we truly are and who we’ve learned to be. Authenticity asks us to peel back those layers, but that can feel unfamiliar, even risky, especially if we’ve never felt safe being fully seen.

There’s a deep peace that comes from knowing you’re living honestly. Being an authentic person doesn't mean you always get it right, but it means you’re not faking it.

The Difference Between Authenticity and Genuineness

Before we dive deeper, it is helpful to clarify a related concept that often gets confused with authenticity: genuineness. People often use “authentic” and “genuine” as if they’re the same. But they’re not.

You can be genuine—kind, honest, open—and still not be fully authentic. Genuineness is a quality of expression. It’s being truthful in the moment. Authenticity goes a step further. It means that your choices are shaped by who you truly are at your core.

Authentic people have tapped into these core values by spending quality time alone without the distraction of social media or the influence of others around them. This connection to your true, inner-self will guide you toward being the authentic person you desire.

Being genuine vs authentic may seem similar, but authenticity is about staying true to your core values, while genuineness reflects sincerity in your actions and interactions.

I’ve had moments where I was being sincere with others but betraying myself. Smiling at a joke that didn’t land, agreeing to plans that drained me. I was being genuine but I wasn’t being authentic–there's a difference. This act of trying to people please often leads us to lose sight of our own needs and boundaries, leaving us feeling drained and disconnected from ourselves.

Have you ever felt that disconnect from your true self?

Learning how to find yourself again requires self-awareness. The more you know yourself, the easier it becomes to spot the difference.

How Can You Be Your Authentic Self?

Start by noticing when you’re performing. Notice the moments when you feel out of sync, off, or resentful. Those are clues.

Ask yourself what it means to be authentic in those small, daily moments. Try pausing before reacting. Checking if your “yes” is really a “yes.” Try journaling, asking questions, and sitting quietly long enough to hear the answers.

Mindfulness helps too. So does speaking your truth, even when your voice shakes. So does forgiving yourself when you forget, and most of all, loving yourself first.

Sure conformity isn't all that bad. We all want to belong. But the more self-aware you are, the harder it becomes to ignore when you’re betraying yourself to fit in.

Authenticity isn’t something you arrive at. It’s something you return to.

Why Authenticity Matters in Personal Growth

I know we’re not using buzzwords here, I'm not a fan, but I’ll say this—being authentic changed my life.

Once I stopped pretending, and trying too hard to be the person I thought people wanted me to be, I stopped feeling stuck. I began making choices that reflected my values, not my fears. I became a better life coach, a better mother, a better friend, a better woman. I was growing.

What does it mean to be an authentic person when you're growing? To be your authentic self means not skipping the hard parts. Being authentic means setting goals that are yours—not borrowed from Instagram or family expectations. It means grounding into who you are, especially when things feel like they are falling apart.

How to Be Authentic in Different Aspects of Life

We’re not just one person in one role. We wear many hats. But here’s the thing: you don’t have to lose yourself in them.

You can be authentic in all parts of your life. It just takes attention.

What Does It Mean to Be Authentic in Career: Be Your True Self at Work

Work can be one of the hardest places to be real. There’s pressure to perform, to fit in, to climb.

But what does it mean to be authentic in your career?

To me it means not compromising my values for a paycheck. It means choosing work that reflects my strengths and interests. It means showing up with honesty, even in high-stakes spaces.

I once left a secure job because it didn’t align with who I was becoming. Scary? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely.

What Does It Mean to Be Authentic in Relationships: Be Genuine and True to Yourself

Authenticity in relationships isn’t about oversharing or always being “on.” It’s about showing up without a mask.

What does it mean to be authentic with someone you love?  It means making space for your needs, not just someone else's. It means admitting when you’re tired. It means letting go of the performance and choosing presence.

I've learned that being authentic in relationships means being honest, even when it's hard. It means keeping your boundaries and allowing theirs. It means not shrinking to be loved. If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

Some of my deepest relationships formed when I stopped trying to impress and started telling the my truth.

When I stopped over-thinking my relationships, I allowed myself to be more human than perfect, and I attracted the same.

The Benefits of Living Authentically

When you start living in alignment with who you are, things shift. You sleep better. You breathe easier. You don’t carry as much mental clutter.

What does it mean to be authentic when no one’s watching? It means being consistent. It means not selling yourself out. It means trusting your path even when it’s quiet.

To me, living authentically means not comparing myself to others.

How Authenticity Leads to Better Mental Health and Well-being

Anxiety often comes from the gap between who we are and who we pretend to be.

Living authentically reduces that gap. To be your authentic self allows you to be more grounded. When you spend less time and energy managing personas, you bounce back quicker when life gets hard. You feel more connected to yourself, healthier and clear-minded.

This sense of inner congruence reduces stress, builds self-trust, and makes space for more meaningful relationships—ultimately leading to greater emotional resilience and well-being.

What does it mean to be authentic for your own peace of mind? Everything.

Authenticity and Building Confidence

Confidence isn’t loud. It’s a quiet knowing.

When you’re authentic, you don’t need to prove yourself. You're thoughtful and genuine. You don’t need external validation to feel okay. You trust yourself more. And the more you live this way, the stronger that trust becomes.

FAQs About Genuineness and Authenticity

Here’s what my client ask me most about how to be a more authentic person.

What Does It Mean to Be an Authentic Person?

It means that your life matches your truth. It means you know who you are and you live like it matters. Being an authentic person means you aren’t performing—you’re participating.

How Do I Know if I'm Being Authentic?

Ask yourself: Are my choices coming from fear or from truth? Do I feel proud of how I show up, even when no one sees it?

Check for alignment. That’s your compass.

How Can I Improve My Authenticity?

What does it mean to be authentic and reclaim your authenticity:

Practice self-awareness and mindfulness.

Take time to reflect.

Set intentions each day.

Say no when needed.

Choose things that feel like a “yes” in your body.

Let go of roles that don’t fit.

Forgive the parts of you that tried to please.

When we align with our true selves, we free ourselves from the constant stress of pretending. We can find our purpose and embrace greater self-esteem that will transform the way we behave and relate to others.

Final Thoughts: Embrace Your Authentic Self Today

I invite you to examine the unfamiliar, have the courage to love yourself deeply, and set aside judgment. Show yourself compassion, self-empathy and know that all change takes time – so be patient.

My 1:1 personal life coaching and group coaching programs for high-achieving women teach transformative principles for becoming a more authentic person.

Don’t wait for the ‘right time’ — start today by embracing who you truly are. Don’t let self-doubt hold you back. Authenticity should feel liberating! Let your true self be your guiding force, empowering you to make choices that align with the life you’re meant to live.

You don’t need to do anything big today. Take small, consistent baby steps toward your personal growth. It's a lifelong process.

Maybe you pause before answering a text.

Maybe you try and stay positive more often.

Maybe you admit what you need.

Maybe you speak your truth.

Maybe you can be vulnerable and honest.

Maybe you take five minutes to ask yourself, what does it mean to be authentic right now?

Not someday. Today.